Short story: I'm slightly bored of being a fashion-orientated blogger
When I started this blog I wanted it to be multidimensional and travel orientated with a stylish undertone. Shortly, my blogtitle and header sums it up: being the hummingbird that spreads out creativity from other blogs, and digesting some of her own.
I was really hesitant about posting images myself online. I know it can become addictive for some fashionbloggers, but it never was in my case. When younger, I suffered from insecurity and had a period of having an eating disorder due to that. Posting my images online and the projection of being thin and glamourous made me question if I needed to be thin again. A woman like me who has a curvacious build, that is not always the best option. Nevertheless, it rekindled into not-so-good eating habits that I had to correct again.
I am being a 30+ blogger and I was surprised insecurity about my body image would hit me again. But it did, and I decided to step back from posting images from myself. Instead, my frequent display of fashionsets to keep the regular readers entertained and posted upon fun deals and lovely combinations.
In contrast to this, I have become more proud of who I am and how my body looks like thanks to images of Beyonce in advertisements and other women who show that curves can be beautiful. I like my last images: I know I have a good porportion of glutes (bum) around and that makes me feminine instead. If you noticed: I never do back-shots because I feel that it looks better in real life than on camera. That is not about being insecure but about knowing what pose suits me better. Moreover, I do not like the "great post" comments that have an undertone of mockery underneath...being "great". I am not being a "great" and my body has a good BMI rate: neither being skinny nor overweight.
Basically, women like Chiara (the blonde Salad) were models in the past and have become famous by blogging afterwards. They are used and trained to be skinny and skinniness is not always an easy task to maintain. Remember, if you read Chiara's "about me" she states that she's a student in the first place: priorities! Modelling or fashionblogging is interesting for a while, but the future is not always secure based upon our looks and the way we dress. Fame is something that can strike suddenly, but dwindle again if yet another new-and-happening face/body/fashionwearer turns up!
I know that some women can get addicted to the amount of comments they will get and will try to keep the rate high or get higher. I often had the opposite of feeling slightly embarrased by a photo of me and posted something new after it quite quickly. Even though the comments were often really lovely.
But fashiontired: yes! I feel I'm exhausted of images to post up or things to say on this blog. I'm thinking about becoming more passive and start to post when I feel connected to this space again. However, the blog has taught me a lot and I suspect there are more women out there that feel the extra pressure of being thin because they are fashionbloggers. The camera can be brutal even if photoshop can be sweet (still: try to put yourself into the skinnytool and not having your face wrinkled up vertically...then the ageism will kick in instead of the fat-ism).
However, it has also been about communication! I think that 'talking' by images and style has been a way to connect to other blogger women and some men. Sometimes it has been funny to see that "great minds think alike" when you notice you had a similar style as another blogger for that day. So it has been positive as well.