Personal mantras of a Questionable Dating past

I think making lots of mistakes is good for knowing what you will absolutely do not want in life again. I think it's fun and not-so-serious to share my piece of personal dating mantras.

• Don't convince a breast-man to be into booty, vice versa and all other varieties

I know I know, the blahblah about "when he really loves you he will take you as you are" and that's simply true, but we catch our fish (or want to be caught) on premises that are often before Love or infatuation. Spending time to convince that he should like your perfect boobs whereas he's really a legs-man is just not worthy of your time. Good thing that there are men out there who are just into women, which might be a problem too I will discuss in one of my other mantras.

• when he says he's gay: he really IS or he wants to be gay in your eyes

I know the pack of girl-convincers and there are a lot of inbetweeners (bisexuals) out there too. But Basically accept you are not going to have sex with him (perhaps you can take on that wonderful GBFF friendship).

• When he's in a profession among a lot of (possibly eager) women (eg. teachers, hairdressers , counselors, dentist): get rid of all feelings of jealousy or just get one that works in the military (and isn't bisexual)

Other women will try...

• Really goodlooking men are quite date-able too

Most women are self-depreciatory and think "oh, he's too beautiful for me", but actually the biggest players are often not really beautiful men, and the gorgeous ones are often being seen as too beautiful and left behind. Don't waste beauty if you don't have to

However, what men say about the contrast between beautiful women being more boring in bed and the plainer one more adventurous...it might be a myth but it probably counts for men as well

• Think deeply before you'll adapt to his type

It's a risk: if the changes are easy (eg: he likes curls and you have straight hair) than it can be easy to try. . So I think you should try to see what result your change will have. Will he really date you if you change your hair (for example) or would he just try you on for a night, or worse, just say you look great and find another woman looking almost the same as you do now, only with, oh lets say, a pair of lips he prefers more. Point is, some men will never be satisfied and will always try to find better to compensate for their minority complex. And there will always be more beautiful women than you, or in the case of Tiger Woods his women were not even more beautiful than Ellen, they were just something else for his craving. Brings me to the next mantra

• Stay away from sexaddicts

Not really good for your selfesteem and think of the plethora of possible STD's he might be having a so much higher chance of: yuck. Unless you are a sexaddict yourself: then you make a good couple. Still I'd suggest therapy for both of you and regular SDT-checks.

•  You either can, or you can't

Talking hookups and one-night-stands! I think people with high feminine sensitivities have more problems to hookups. Not suggesting that you aren't really feminine if you have no problem with it, and seriously some women looking 10 times more feminine than I really can, but it's the emotional femininity (the one inside). I know I can't: I get clingy and wanna have babies and families, period. Don't excuse yourself if you can, but neither feel like a prude when you can't.

• Let him fall in love first:

When you are prone to falling a lot, then I can assure you somewhat that it's like what MIA sings about "a muscle" (link to her excellent song here). I think grandmothers always give this advice: let him like you more than you like him. But basically you should let him fall first so you can always decide to fall in love with him later. You don't want to be head-over-heels with someone who's just lukewarm to you.

disclaimer: I'm having a heteronormative perspective for not having dated women, however, I'm not forgetting the bi/lesbian women out there too, so just replace he for she if that's the case.

Please Please Please share if you have a funny, or to you not-so-funny, dating mantra too. Sharing is THERAPY and you can turn that into finding a perfectly good next one after getting rid of this out of your system!