on putting on a Sunny Face

A while ago I posted this picture with a reference to bullying. Something like "People who have been bullied never forget" or the likes of that. In a way, most people have had a certain degree of bullying in their life. And honestly, most of us have been 'teasing' someone too. I'm guilty of both.

When I was on this blog, I noticed the references to me "perhaps not being born a woman". As said in my last post: I'm a Dutch 'farmer's' girl, but I'm certainly been born female. You should meet me and my moody behaviour every month! Unfortunately, my hands seem to be a reference to that thought: I'm just not having small and dainty hands, that's all.

On the picture above I seem to be hiding behind a cuuuuute Monki bag. So all the pseudo-psychologist might refer to me "hiding my insecurities behind shopping" etc etc. For me it is putting on a sunny face. We are often told that "honestly is the best policiy", but believe me, I can be way too honest for your likes. I like my fashion, makeup, hair and outfits to say something about me: how I feel that day. Sometimes I'm a bit of a character, on other days I feel more secure about going neutral.

I think there is a lot of pressure on having a beautiful face these days: instagram-wise. And if we deny putting on regular #selfies, we are supposed to be shy. If we put on too many, we are either too arrogant or perhaps too insecure (asking for constant likes). As for the older girls, if we decide to get old gracefully, we are not in the game anymore. But if we ameliorate our features, we will get the Renee Zellweger scrutiny.

In all ways, we are all beautiful if we behave beautifully. But then, not really. The fact that I mingle well with beautiful people is not that I am one myself but that I share similar personality with them: slightly bitchy but still pretending to be an angel. There should be an instagram-filter for that as well, the Dorian Gray filter.

Have a happy 2015 with either a beautiful inside or outside, or just have good money on you ;)

Xmas Streetart

source

Friday's Instas

Orange you glad to see me? Or does my outfit match | creating my Earcuff post | A Virgin Mary Money saving bank? Ohhh, let's spend on that one

*

Pretty Organic Olive Oil | Quote of the week | UO: trying another leather jacket 
*

Natural shape | Flowermarket Amsterdam | a selection of my superfoods

This week has been a dynamic week. I posted this week Outfitted without too much thin-photoshop because I want to show that not every woman should get an eating disorder to look fashionable. And shopping, yeh, I'm in and out of changing rooms to try out various trends. The urban Outfitter's pic shows I often go tomboy-pose when trying on leather jackets. I like having voyeurs like the girl with the cute fringe who check if the outfit looks OK on me. She's my BBF now  ♥

New: Measured Goods

My latest accessory has a hint towards the constant idea of being measured up...

In fashion there is the turn-around idea of Hans from Hans & Gretel being measured by the witch whether he is fat enough, which fashion and most of our Western societal values has reversed into being measured whether you're skinny enough...

Anyway, I love Monserrat de Lucca's quirky jewelleries and I've showcased the skinny bunny before (here) and I couldn't pass up this bracelet during the shopbop sale a while ago.

Disgusted

I realise I don't use the blog as a social podia anymore, although I attempt to visualise some aspect of sociality and have a slightly alternative message to the imagery I put on, but I was too disgusted to let this one pass (link here)

I would spare you the details of my stream of angriness I vented upon twitter lately, but this one has been quite summing-it-up

It's in Dutch so I allow myself to make a slightly softened translation of it, still being quite fierce. And is there a similar concept in language that has a similar meaning as 'valse nicht' has in Dutch?
It's a gay man who is false in his comments, has total bitterness against the world and masks his own insecurity by totally criticizing others all the time, often behind their backs (keeping the theme in line).

Translation: "Typically false gayness. Pippi with her cute face should spit Karl and his horrible head  directly in his face"

How does this reflect to me. Well, I had a similar insult masked as a compliment when I finally decided to put up my LWD with the detailing on the back (post here and comments below)

I knew it was an insult directly, but chose the elegant way of treating it as a

1. compliment by thanking him
2. saying that my front is actually quite good as well

 Totally, this aspect of women being downsided to their Good Parts and Not-So-Good parts is something women themselves collaborate in as well. But it is my own choice  if  pick out the skirt that accentuates my smaller waist but doesn't cling too much on my hips.

In the case of Karl and the other Karls out there, it is shuffed into our faces (or, in his case he would rather not go for the face) and we are simply insulted by someone else, not looking like the perfectly airbrushed and photoshopped models they work with all the time.

So if this opinion makes my blog too radical and not too-sweety-sweety-girly-wanna-pleasy? Please take the courtesy to unfollow me (easy steps over here).

I will still put the Outfitted online soon, but to quote Florence Welch in Blinding "I will never go back" or show it around anymore on the blog like I did. I like my front...period.

Going to a chapel, baby...

Instagram ofcourse

You might be fooled and think this is one from the old times, were it not for the cyclist on the left with his headphones on and completely wired up. That is why I left him there without cutting/photoshopping him out.

Somewhat I believe marriage is a bit of wishful thinking and if you buy into that dream the best thing to do is in a vintage manner, complete with horse and carriage.

These almost or newly weds did that, and the surroundings suggest that there is still a lot of modern times going on.

It makes me guess, seeing brides and grooms: will they opt for an old-fashioned idea of marriage (by attempting to go for monogamy) as the horse and carriage suggest or will they be more prone to the alternative idea of togetherness?

What do you think: do you think that people who are complete swingers are not really entitled for a sweet and old-fashioned style wedding or is it just the idea behind it? Or the other way around, are the monogamists not really entitled to give out a modern party in Ibiza complete with male-poledancers and the likes (only for the guest whereas they will only 'indulge' in each other)?

Porn'chic'

First I would like to make a disclaimer that I don't want to make this a feminist blog*1. Well, not because I am not a feminist, because I like women to be egalitarianly (is that a word?) treated like their peers with dangly bits between their legs, but I just do not like to pidginhole this blog.

Still, I feel incredibly bewildered by a society that seems to be so different from my internal life, so I write about my bewilderment.

About Porn'chic':

Not so chic, I believe, but the imput and normalising idea of porn all around us made it chic.

To symbolise pornchic in one artistic venture (I prefer some artistic creativity to set the value of the article)

East Street Arts by Nicola Bockelman

You get the idea:

1. I haven't chosen for the image to have a body, because the message of contemporary porn-chic is about male laziness. Male laziness, shortly, is about women doing the hard work, or the quintessential 'job'. The head alone is doing all right and the body could be missed.
2. pink setting: idea of fake femininity
3. how couldn't she be an obviously peroxided woman
4. makeup-> overdone. You have to see she is made for (porn)pleasure
5. open mouth: see point 1-> male laziness

Girls, the non-pornchic types, notice when they have boyfriends that

1. the boy picked them over the pornchic girl. That is not because they cannot get a pornchic-creature, because they are often easier to get then their non-pornchic peers. They just, to paraphrase the lovely Legally Blonde, they will 'date' a Marilyn but marry a Jackie.
2. Still, perhaps to the irritation of the non-pornchic girl: they can respond on the porn-chic girls.
3. Don't worry, girls. This is a reflect caused by porn. It doesn't mean they wanna go for it but just because it is linked to easy fantasy sex.

So how come some men wanna step out with a porn-chic girl?

1. Duh, look at the word: porn isn't the dirty word anymore. It's made fashionable
2. see point 3 from the last section: pavlow effect->easy (fantasy) sex.
3. boys and their peer-pressure: their friends will envy them. (Only for a while, until they had a go with the girl themselves)

Why do girls opt for the porn-chic look:

1. Attention Attention Attention: read something about Laura Mulvey's to-be-looked-at-ness" over here.
2. Women come across porn too, and images will stay
3. our dear role model put in front of our innocent faces aged 3 or 4: Barbie.
4. role playing: hoping to creep into the skin of a (severely faking/acting) actress with that appearance gives the idea that sex will be better when looking the (false) part. 

Why do girls avoid looking porn-chic:

1. As Dolly Parton would say: "It takes a lot of money to look this cheap"->High maintainance that doesn't lead to a better and more respectful treatment
2. There is more to life than spending so much time on your looks (which can even hurt)->Bleach that leads to raw scalps, fake hair, fake nails, fake eyelashes, fake tan, perenial diet, fake stuff in your body (boobs), long makeup sessions, horrible colours on your face (weird pink lips)
3. looking the part perhaps brings out expectations with some men: you will lure lazy men (see open mouth image) which will lead to boring sex that doesn't always leave you satisfied.
4. Prefer to be the Jackie above the Marilyn.
5. See no 3, attracting men that want more from you than being a life-blow-up-doll, a measure for making their friends jealous, etc
6. Actually liking a lot of the way your parents and nature made you! Ok, there are some things a bit of blush can enhance, but to screw with a good thing is a bit too much for you.
7. Having some self-confidence in the way you actually look
8. Not being too interested in being 'to-be-looked-at-ness': you're a woman of the 21th century and you can look at men too, no need to cater to their need to get a living.

I hope I made my point!

Perhaps too many points categorised...


*1. About the feminist blogs: I believe that the feminist blogs I used to read (feministing, the f-word, jezebel) have become too tame. Come on, blogs, there should be some more fire in the posts!