on putting on a Sunny Face

A while ago I posted this picture with a reference to bullying. Something like "People who have been bullied never forget" or the likes of that. In a way, most people have had a certain degree of bullying in their life. And honestly, most of us have been 'teasing' someone too. I'm guilty of both.

When I was on this blog, I noticed the references to me "perhaps not being born a woman". As said in my last post: I'm a Dutch 'farmer's' girl, but I'm certainly been born female. You should meet me and my moody behaviour every month! Unfortunately, my hands seem to be a reference to that thought: I'm just not having small and dainty hands, that's all.

On the picture above I seem to be hiding behind a cuuuuute Monki bag. So all the pseudo-psychologist might refer to me "hiding my insecurities behind shopping" etc etc. For me it is putting on a sunny face. We are often told that "honestly is the best policiy", but believe me, I can be way too honest for your likes. I like my fashion, makeup, hair and outfits to say something about me: how I feel that day. Sometimes I'm a bit of a character, on other days I feel more secure about going neutral.

I think there is a lot of pressure on having a beautiful face these days: instagram-wise. And if we deny putting on regular #selfies, we are supposed to be shy. If we put on too many, we are either too arrogant or perhaps too insecure (asking for constant likes). As for the older girls, if we decide to get old gracefully, we are not in the game anymore. But if we ameliorate our features, we will get the Renee Zellweger scrutiny.

In all ways, we are all beautiful if we behave beautifully. But then, not really. The fact that I mingle well with beautiful people is not that I am one myself but that I share similar personality with them: slightly bitchy but still pretending to be an angel. There should be an instagram-filter for that as well, the Dorian Gray filter.

Have a happy 2015 with either a beautiful inside or outside, or just have good money on you ;)

Good Hairdresser gone Bad

The last couple of weeks have been insecurity galore for me. I went fringe/bangs and it gotten me a bit self-concious again. My hairdresser gave me some horribly chunky highlights and the flow of my cut was not brilliant either.

I'm neither self-secure nor insecure, normally. I'm in the middle of knowing what my good features are, and my flaws. I know that I like a feminine look because I'm not the most dainty around: blame my Dutch Polder heritage and Frisian roots for it, we are sturdy women! But I'm not feeling the tomboy vibe out there, and as I said to my hairdresser: I still like to attract men for it.

My hairdresser probably gotten slightly pissed on me for that remark, and also for not 1. going shorter 2. not wanting to become brunette. Or, some women can be pissed when you want to look as pretty as them, or they might be afraid you might upstage them. And some hairdressers are such control freaks that they might give you lousy hair when you have your own say about it. So she gave me bad hair for about $160.

I normally don't rant about a company but I feel awful about this, especially as she gave me gorgeous highlights in Feb '14

That explains that I was with really long virgin hair for so many years: I didn't want anyone to butcher it up. (Ps: this doesn't just count for women hairdressers only: some of the men doing hair might do similarly)

These days I'm partly dyed/highlighted because I wanted to look prettier after my relationship ended. For me it was letting go of my older self. I really regret that my hairdresser refused to see that part while she was doing my hair.

Shortly, it was not the bad hair that spurred me into insecurity, it was the fact that someone young & beautiful herself with a succesful life found it necessary to mess up my hair.

a Bikini a Day keeps the Doctor away

Bodytalk:

Recently I've discussed the idea of selfies with some friends. Personally I tried to make faceselfies, but I prefer bodyselfies. This is where the feminists step in for the fact I might be "sexualizing my body by showing it bikini-clad online" but who are they to judge? Sometimes, a pouty/boobtastic faceselfie has more erotic value than the one I showed above. 

This autocam-selfie is to celebrate the strenght & femininity of my body. It also shows pride in the effort of working-out. But most of all, it embraces the idea of portraying a body that falls out of the boundaries of either being either young, flawlessly pretty or superskinny. This is a body that has had some mileage but is able to climb rocks, swim unapologetically in a rough ocean, and can eat a good amount of healthy food. Because a body that takes care of its owner does deserve food and not starvation! So who can tell us our body is not perfect like the skinny models when we might be better off with our healthier ones in the long run? 

In this sense, perfection is what you decides it is, not anyone's else perfection.

Personal blahdiblah...

Hi guys,

Time goes on: tick tock in Amsterdam.

 *

It's getting more autumny so let's share something personal. I'm kind of having a 'I remembered to forget' mode about my hair during this summer: I've gotten all into the curling/braiding/my-little-pony-colouring hair thingy. Sort of wanting to be Barbie because I felt I needed myself a proper Ken -> the buff guy with the plastic white smile. 

*

Now I distanced myself from wanting a Ken and I gotten into flat shoes again: and polkadot socks. I don't think any Ken likes to see his Barbie in flats outside the gym where she has to work out to keep her hourglass figure, right?

*

But I've been influenced by the Fashionweek and decided I needed a Céline top: ok, it's a sorta bargain from Yoox but still Céline.

Just Smile

Magdalena Jasek in “Just Smile” by Camilla Akrans for Vogue Italia, August 2014

First I like to apologize for being such a moody cow on this blog. I have been in a blog-rut and my inner teenager has been rebelling against anything that's fashionable right now.

Ok, not everything because I've had an intense monochrome crave in everything fashion. There are periods when certain type of colours or clothes feel more fitting to your mood: I didn't feel like the bird in Paradise so I'd wear something more muted in black or white.

Right now I am adding more colour to my wardrobe again: like a coloured shoe or a zesty blouse. Natalie Jools says that she loves her bright clothes, but for dates she has a certain set of a black dress & black shoes: because men like simplicity and good forms.

Jools Non-date ensemble

I'd be in 'complicated' fashion too if I had her type of legs. 

Have a wonderfully monochrome, unicoloured or multicoloured weekend!

Insta Sunday

Alghero harbour | Chocolate with Parmacheese! | Roses are Lilac

*

Some of my hairstuff | Bose cutest pastel houses (Sardinia) | Basically true #horoscope

*

disdainful sign makes me sad | DIY on shoe | Pretty Sardinian Church

Hello sweeties,

I still had some pretty photos from photogenetic Sardinia I wanted to share. And I've gotten quite addicted to buying flowers every week. My friend brought me a box of chocolate from Barcelona (Cacao Sampaka) and one of their experimental ones was with parmacheese! It's really tastes weird as it sounds. So yeh, if life's like a box of chocolate than that was a funky experience.

My hairstuff is mostly based on volume and moisture: becoming blonder sure makes you dry. As for the black /n white sign: Geez! Who is to decide who's beautiful or not??? So sad so many women do fall into this trap of negative psychology and even think it's funny. So to conclude like some Forest Gumpisms: Pretty is what Pretty does.

My Essentials

Hi Babes, 

Sorry for being absent for a while but I haven't been feeling the *fashion vibe* for a while. I'm starting to 'recover' from this indifference and I will show you my essentials even when I'm totally 'out of everything fashion'.

Kitten Booties:  Even if I am slacking it, you will never see me in Uggs, sneakers (only holidays) or any other 'slumpy shoe'. I just pick up a sleek bootie with a walkable heel. These babes are from & Other Stories and I believe they give Givenchy & their likes a run for their money.

Primer for Foundation: I almost never face the world without 'tinted moisturizer', concealer or some foundation. That needs a primer and Laura Mercier makes a reasonable one.

Laura Mercier Brow Powder in Deep Blonde: Not always, but when I want to look stronger and more polished I add a natural but more defined brow. Otherwise I'd look like Lara Stone's uglier sister (-> no eyebrows, not that pretty and still Dutch).

Mirror Mirror: I never asked this question when younger so no wicked stepmother associations. But it's more when I drank coffee and I do not want to have 'extra dark shadows' around my mouth' etc.

Powder Foundation: I'm a bit of a snob  so I love to pick up my Givenchy powder foundation. It's a good powder foundation too for topping up on the road.

B.A.G: Yes, you know me...Even when totally 'out of it', I'd still have a good bag. It doesn't have to be expensive as this & Other Stories one was under $100. But it has to be a statement one.

Cream Blush: I am a blush-addict and I have more than 50! It's often 'youth potion' or it brings some life to your cheeks. This one is my Bobbi Brown Pale pink. A cream blush works differently and more natural than a powder.

Powder blush: I use a powder blush when I want a 'statement face' or a more 'make up' look: some people want to see you "made an effort" so it shows a bit more. This one is NARS Deep Throat, still natural but more visible with a heavier hand.

MAC Patina: This is such a classic eyeshadow: I think everyone has this neutral. I love it on days when I do not want to think too much about makeup, but still be polished.

Foundation Brush: I often skip the brushes/foam pads in foundation compacts and bring a professional brush along with me. This one is from Adesign and totally perfect for a flawless application. L♥ve it!

For the rest, I love to make fashionphotos again but this time my excuse is that I gained weight (3 kg)! I have been really healthy lately so I blame the excess of advocados blended in my umpteenth smoothies. I know there are more normal sized fashiongirls on the block but I don't like people to giggle and think "ahh, good...MlleWanderlust gained weight...!". Not everyone is so nice as the comments I get. Although I love most of my commenters a lot ♥♥

Idiotic selfies & co

I am still in that stage of making idiotic selfies for the sake of pure idioticy...

Actually, in this case I wanted to show of my longer nails! Hurray for vanity (I'm wearing Nubar Red Sea, if you'd care).

That bee was a spontanious extra: he considers me a gentle flower!

Born to blog...

I have been blogging for almost two years, and I have been slightly mysterious about my intentions, so there you go:

The blogname "Mlle Wanderlust': Wanderlust as travelling has been a part of me since a young girl. Slightly spoiled and with a couple of bohemian parents, they took me places! Even a born and raised Dutch girl, I've spend so much time swimming in Spanish pools and later in Florida seas that I feel like the proper world-person. My first non-Dutch words were 'helados' (icecream), towels (after swimming) and later 'sawadee Kah' (hello in Thai).

I've started out being a mademoiselle (girl) and now I'm reaching the madame (woman) territory. I think I'll keep the Mlle name as my personality is still more girl than polished woman.

Style is more important than fashion, but I like fashion for playing with personal imagery. I'd prefer a feminine look over tomboy: however, Dutch cold will often get me into trousers & sweaters instead of my beloved dresses 'n skirt. Effortless is not really my game but I won't go into too much pain for beauty either: the middle way perhaps.

I often read the word 'nice' in the comments and I am truly flattered to be seen as a nice blogger. Truth is that I can be terribly honest at times being. I'm also one that stands up for herself and if I do the word 'nice' would not easily pop up again. Nevertheless, I aim to be nice as niceness is underrated.

The blog is not just narcisstic imagery: for me its about looking unexpected, fashion savvy and making people laugh and feel good about themselves. Perhaps people 'feel' this when they visit my blog, and that might be a part that I have some regular readers!

♥That was a bit of background story... xoxo for the rest of the week ♥

Friday's Instas

Orange you glad to see me? Or does my outfit match | creating my Earcuff post | A Virgin Mary Money saving bank? Ohhh, let's spend on that one

*

Pretty Organic Olive Oil | Quote of the week | UO: trying another leather jacket 
*

Natural shape | Flowermarket Amsterdam | a selection of my superfoods

This week has been a dynamic week. I posted this week Outfitted without too much thin-photoshop because I want to show that not every woman should get an eating disorder to look fashionable. And shopping, yeh, I'm in and out of changing rooms to try out various trends. The urban Outfitter's pic shows I often go tomboy-pose when trying on leather jackets. I like having voyeurs like the girl with the cute fringe who check if the outfit looks OK on me. She's my BBF now  ♥

Friday's Instas

Dutch Deco Bicycle | Autumn in Utrecht | Halloween- I'm the black cat

Andy Warhol Sweater | Quote | Celine fetish

Forest autumn | Coffee with a smile | Streetart @ Spuistraat Amsterdam

Autumn has been fully setting with changing colours & leaves falling. The weather is still on the warmer side, but somehow a warm and smiley coffee feels quite right.  As for Halloween I'll embrace my feline side, meow!

LFW: What to pack/Do?

I have always wanted to go to London Fashion Week and this year I will be able to do so! Hurray!

Now my only level of discomfort is based on the fact of what to pack/do?

• La Riche Direction Turquoise hairdye? Yeh, I know I know...Dipdye is sooo 2012 but I haven't taken the plunge at that time being and I just loooove turquoise. Why limit myself to the idea of what's hot at a time being?
  

I'm loving these as I can remove them later, or just dipdye my ends that already needed a trim 2 weeks ago.

• Cumcumber-mask? Yes, undereye circles are more a PFW thing.

• Maison Martin Margiella for H&M wedges? Actually, I don't like wedges. They're too inbetween to have the allure that either heels or flats can have. However, the glass heel made me buy them in the first place, and think about the miles I can walk with them and still have height!
• Comfy but sequinny sweater for lounging slightly fashionable at nighttime? Yeh, it beats my hoodies, though I would be liking this sweatshirt from Forever21 too.
  • 

So what would you suggest I'd bring along or do before London Fashion Week? (bit clueless)

the Instas

the yawn/ the grin

the Dutch tradition/ the Dutch tradition

Banksy book/ Topshop in Holland! 

Flowers has been a great Dutch tradition. My mum and other girls & guys mums probably have been on some flowerarrangement-course and they are often quite skilled. I'm not, so good thing the flowers are sold in pre-arranged sets too. But it's still the 'gezellig' (=cozy) thing to do, having flowers in your house.

Updating the hair for autumn is quite a (Dutch) female tradition too. Some stay blonde because they are used to it, is a better lure for men, reminds them of their childhood or just makes them appear softer. I personally ventured into highlights this summer, but I didn't feel sexier with them at all. I gotten roots (something I really frowned upon by others but found out that 2weekly highlighting is such a drag). I think you have to feel happy about your hair to feel beautiful and the blonde was not my way to that.  Christophe Robin, a famous French hairdresser, often advises women to stay close to their own shades, and that's what I am now.

Harboured

I remember one sweet commenter who said to me "don't be afraid to go tomboy". I actually have, especially when dresses become more common during this time of year.

Btw, happy summer.  I'm practicing my 'moody-but-beautiful' expression over here, and my conclusion is that I look better with a genuine smile.

So what have you been up to this summer?

Fashion Fatigue

Short story: I'm slightly bored of being a fashion-orientated blogger

Longer story:
When I started this blog I wanted it to be multidimensional and travel orientated with a stylish undertone. Shortly, my blogtitle and header sums it up: being the hummingbird that spreads out creativity from other blogs, and digesting some of her own.

I was really hesitant about posting images myself online. I know it can become addictive for some fashionbloggers, but it never was in my case. When younger, I suffered from insecurity and had a period of having an eating disorder due to that. Posting my images online and the projection of being thin and glamourous made me question if I needed to be thin again. A woman like me who has a curvacious build, that is not always the best option. Nevertheless, it rekindled into not-so-good eating habits that I had to correct again.

I am being a 30+ blogger and I was surprised insecurity about my body image would hit me again. But it did, and I decided to step back from posting images from myself. Instead, my frequent display of fashionsets to keep the regular readers entertained and posted upon fun deals and lovely combinations.

In contrast to this, I have become more proud of who I am and how my body looks like thanks to images of Beyonce in advertisements and other women who show that curves can be beautiful. I like my last images: I know I have a good porportion of glutes (bum) around and that makes me feminine instead. If you noticed: I never do back-shots because I feel that it looks better in real life than on camera. That is not about being insecure but about knowing what pose suits me better. Moreover, I do not like the "great post" comments that have an undertone of mockery underneath...being "great". I am not being a "great" and my body has a good BMI rate: neither being skinny nor overweight.

Basically, women like Chiara (the blonde Salad) were models in the past and have become famous by blogging afterwards. They are used and trained to be skinny and skinniness is not always an easy task to maintain. Remember, if you read Chiara's "about me" she states that she's a student in the first place: priorities! Modelling or fashionblogging is interesting for a while, but the future is not always secure based upon our looks and the way we dress. Fame is something that can strike suddenly, but dwindle again if yet another new-and-happening face/body/fashionwearer turns up!

I know that some women can get addicted to the amount of comments they will get and will try to keep the rate high or get higher. I often had the opposite of feeling slightly embarrased by a photo of me and posted something new after it quite quickly. Even though the comments were often really lovely.

But fashiontired: yes! I feel I'm exhausted of images to post up or things to say on this blog. I'm thinking about becoming more passive and start to post when I feel connected to this space again. However, the blog has taught me a lot and I suspect there are more women out there that feel the extra pressure of being thin because they are fashionbloggers. The camera can be brutal even if photoshop can be sweet (still: try to put yourself into the skinnytool and not having your face wrinkled up vertically...then the ageism will kick in instead of the fat-ism).

However, it has also been about communication! I think that 'talking' by images and style has been a way to connect to other blogger women and some men. Sometimes it has been funny to see that "great minds think alike" when you notice you had a similar style as another blogger for that day. So it has been positive as well.

Insta-chatter

I haven't done the Insta-update for a while! So, in order not to bother you with a boring fashionset...

Top:

1. Good Food: this salad had a plentitude of tomatoes and...ehm...not much else

2. Shoe-stagraming: I jumped illegally on a boat in one of the Dutch Canals for the photo ;)

3. Tools of mass-destruction seduction: eyelash curlers

Middle:

4. fragancia...

5. Freja, got him to match the carpet (or was it the other way around?)

6. Sock-stagraming: Dandy brogues 'n Pugs

Bottom:

7. Cultureboat Utrecht: it sells marihuana...it's Holland so we consider that culture

8. Flowery bike embedded by flowers in Amsterdam: Spring!

9. YES, the Great Gatsby: swooned away by romance and 3 D experience. I still think Leo is cute and Carey is the perfect Daisy: especially her voice that "sounds like money". Tobey always is so good in playing that naive innocence that cannot be corrupted...love that.

Sunday tales

Mmm, my week was completely mix-n-unmatch. Sometimes that happens.

 So the good parts:

1. Freja goes online to find a mate, or, he selects some good shoes for me...
2. Spotting #happydutchbikes for instagram
3. Finally, my Rrhea Ring...such a cool brand (see video below)

4. Strong eyes, fierce nails..& the hair says *F* you, gonna fluff *(ok respect!)

Personal mantras of a Questionable Dating past

I think making lots of mistakes is good for knowing what you will absolutely do not want in life again. I think it's fun and not-so-serious to share my piece of personal dating mantras.

• Don't convince a breast-man to be into booty, vice versa and all other varieties

I know I know, the blahblah about "when he really loves you he will take you as you are" and that's simply true, but we catch our fish (or want to be caught) on premises that are often before Love or infatuation. Spending time to convince that he should like your perfect boobs whereas he's really a legs-man is just not worthy of your time. Good thing that there are men out there who are just into women, which might be a problem too I will discuss in one of my other mantras.

• when he says he's gay: he really IS or he wants to be gay in your eyes

I know the pack of girl-convincers and there are a lot of inbetweeners (bisexuals) out there too. But Basically accept you are not going to have sex with him (perhaps you can take on that wonderful GBFF friendship).

• When he's in a profession among a lot of (possibly eager) women (eg. teachers, hairdressers , counselors, dentist): get rid of all feelings of jealousy or just get one that works in the military (and isn't bisexual)

Other women will try...

• Really goodlooking men are quite date-able too

Most women are self-depreciatory and think "oh, he's too beautiful for me", but actually the biggest players are often not really beautiful men, and the gorgeous ones are often being seen as too beautiful and left behind. Don't waste beauty if you don't have to

However, what men say about the contrast between beautiful women being more boring in bed and the plainer one more adventurous...it might be a myth but it probably counts for men as well

• Think deeply before you'll adapt to his type

It's a risk: if the changes are easy (eg: he likes curls and you have straight hair) than it can be easy to try. . So I think you should try to see what result your change will have. Will he really date you if you change your hair (for example) or would he just try you on for a night, or worse, just say you look great and find another woman looking almost the same as you do now, only with, oh lets say, a pair of lips he prefers more. Point is, some men will never be satisfied and will always try to find better to compensate for their minority complex. And there will always be more beautiful women than you, or in the case of Tiger Woods his women were not even more beautiful than Ellen, they were just something else for his craving. Brings me to the next mantra

• Stay away from sexaddicts

Not really good for your selfesteem and think of the plethora of possible STD's he might be having a so much higher chance of: yuck. Unless you are a sexaddict yourself: then you make a good couple. Still I'd suggest therapy for both of you and regular SDT-checks.

•  You either can, or you can't

Talking hookups and one-night-stands! I think people with high feminine sensitivities have more problems to hookups. Not suggesting that you aren't really feminine if you have no problem with it, and seriously some women looking 10 times more feminine than I really can, but it's the emotional femininity (the one inside). I know I can't: I get clingy and wanna have babies and families, period. Don't excuse yourself if you can, but neither feel like a prude when you can't.

• Let him fall in love first:

When you are prone to falling a lot, then I can assure you somewhat that it's like what MIA sings about "a muscle" (link to her excellent song here). I think grandmothers always give this advice: let him like you more than you like him. But basically you should let him fall first so you can always decide to fall in love with him later. You don't want to be head-over-heels with someone who's just lukewarm to you.

disclaimer: I'm having a heteronormative perspective for not having dated women, however, I'm not forgetting the bi/lesbian women out there too, so just replace he for she if that's the case.

Please Please Please share if you have a funny, or to you not-so-funny, dating mantra too. Sharing is THERAPY and you can turn that into finding a perfectly good next one after getting rid of this out of your system!

Mum, the style icon

I got this idea from a website called Mumthestyleicon and I wanted to post this picture of her today because it's mother's day!!!

She is dressed in simple but stylish neutrals and had a sassy blonde bob with some bangs: I always thought she reminded me of Agneta from Abba (most people will know their Abba, otherwise link).

The tiny one is me: yeh, you know how people in Holland want to marry off their children as soon as possible...hahaha. No it was actually for Carnaval and I was sick as hell, but she created the whole dress so I had to go. In the picture above you can see she's my stylist...and that's quite nifty for a 3 year old, considering I'm not Suri Cruise of that time.

Happy Mothersday, Mum ♥

Freedom Festival - some ramblings & pics

Transwijk Park Utrecht, 5 May 2012

1. Will these daisies survive the festival? Ehm, not quite so...

2. Purse-spiration & pant-spiration galore! Also, I gotta get my redhead-act together and get some more vivid strands.

3. Rainy day: but they're happy together.

4. No festival without portaloos...I should say PortaLouLou??

5. This picture does NOT contain poo, really! Not that it's any fresh stuff but I think they are still relatively clean. My boots are also still clean.

6. Finding HOPE in a portaloo....recycled hope, actually

freedom symbolism

Girl applying makeup @ Vintage stall

waiting in line: looking at that fab blue bag

Bitchin' singer: I have no clue what the band-name was

festival child being happy with her family

'cake makes happy'/'taartjes maken blij': FOOD!

Waste on a stick

Nick & Simon, some Dutch act in fave with young girls & some women (not me, but they were allright)

This festival was my first proper time of fun since 2012: that's actually pretty lousy if you think about that. Best of it that it was as good as free. Something different than my attempts lately to spend too much on fashionable items that do not make me happy in the long run (I still like them, though)